Self-sabotage is when we do something, a behaviour/decision, that is not in alignment with the outcome we are wanting. This is usually an unconscious process that only becomes apparent to us once we have done it.

Everyone has different strategies when it comes to self-sabotage. Some may cheat on their diet after committing to losing weight, some may splurge and spend all of their money when they are wanting to save, others may distance themselves from people even though they are wanting connection. There are so many ways to self-sabotage and some are more straightforward than others.

The reason we self-sabotage is because of negative beliefs we have about ourselves. If we think we are not worth something we will always sabotage the ‘having’ of it. When having something, achieving something, experiencing something conflicts with a belief we have about ourselves then we will sabotage to destroy, deny or deflect it. As humans, what we believe to be true, is. So, if we believe ourselves unworthy of having something then we will act out unconscious behaviours (sabotage) to make sure we don’t have it.

The fastest way to stop self-sabotaging is to identify your sabotaging behaviours. Then you can track them to your beliefs. Changing the belief is crucial to ending the self-sabotage. Think of the belief as the cause and the behaviours as the symptoms. When you are sick, you use the symptoms to identify the cause. The same goes with your self-sabotaging. This is something you need some help with. You are discovering a whole new level of self-awareness. Our psyche can be confusing to navigate on our own, that is why a great coach or workshop is the most supportive way to ‘see’ more of yourself.

There is a strong focus on self-sabotage in Real Life Design and many tools to support you in overcoming it.


Art by Jade Taylor

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